AHHHHHHH!!!!!! Ok now that that is out of my system I want
to say thank you to everyone who has given us encouraging words and praying for
us right now. Now that the shock and aw
is wearing off I have been able to calm down and put life back into perspective.
I am thankful that Justin will at least have a job
especially in this economy when so many people are still without jobs and
struggling to make it. I am also glad
that he will at least be in the country and not being deployed. Two of my
friends are currently playing the single mother card because of deployments and
a third will be joining them soon. So
again, it could be worse.
With that being said I am still not happy about playing
single mom, and doesn’t matter how thankful I am every time I think about it
makes me depressed. I know I can do it
and we will survive. We have done this on and off for the last 14 years. Our
entire relationship has been spent with separation after separation. That is
just the life of a military spouse/significant other. But never thought his
civilian side of work would separate us like this. I hear of all these families
who are living apart, one of which is my cousin and his family. But you never
think it will be you. No, that won’t happen to us, we will be fine. And here it
is on our doorstep.
Then you add in the financial burden of living two separate
lives. We have been working hard on trying to follow Dave Ramsey with the
exception of a few set backs at Christmas since we had not planned real well
for it. And now this is going to cause
us to take even more steps back. Yes, we will be able to last longer bringing
in some money rather then no money but it will not be enough to actually pay
all the bills since he has to provide his own roof over his head. So that adds
to my frustration, we finally see the light and go oh we should get out of debt
and we hit a big roadblock. And with 3 kids
one of whom is still not in school it is difficult for me to help bring in
money to help supplement the loss of money. So lots of negatives in my brain
right now…. Ugh…
Oh step back for those who are going what the heck is going
on; Justin has been furloughed since Dec 31. So he is still employed but not
working. He has been searching for jobs since we found out his contract was
ending but having a hard time finding something. And seems like every time he
gets close, something falls through… so add that into not working. Lucky he had
AT (guard training) for two weeks this month so we had another pay check come
in. Well, he got a call yesterday from
Radiance stating that they had a position opening up in Augusta, GA but they
needed an answer by today. Well of course we don’t want to turn it down because
heaven only knows when he will find a job and we don’t have that much put away
to last very long with zero income. And
they want him there by Feb 3. So he will
be leaving for work. And with it being a 6 hour drive and having to pay for his
extended stay hotel we probably wont get to see each other very often. Again I
know there are those who have it WAY worse. But still not happy about. And
mostly because of the kids. It is hard because they are getting older and know
when daddy is gone and they miss him. Just have to Thank God that we have the
technology to video chat and Renae and
Allie have figured out how to text. Justin on the ipad and ipods so they are
bugging him that way lol.
Anyways, Just want to say all the thoughts, prayers and
concerns are not unappreciated. And I know God has a plan, just right now I am
not a fan of the path we are having to take. But such is life, what doesn’t
kill you can only make you stronger, and we must embrace the suck. Hopefully we
will come out the other end of this better then when we started. And hoping
2014 starts to get better. We have our
health (sorta, Allie and I have been battling a weird stomach bug, at least no
throwing up this time) and wonderful family, friends and neighbors who make a
great support group. And if this does
last into the spring I would love a volunteer to weed eat and edge my yard ;) I
can mow it if the mower will start CIMH…
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